


Night Out

by xantissa



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-13
Updated: 2012-07-13
Packaged: 2017-11-09 22:04:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xantissa/pseuds/xantissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aftermath of a boy’s night out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night Out

Cloud shifted uneasily and curled tighter into a ball as he tried to cling to the last vestiges of sleep. He was warm, lying on something soft and very comfortable and also vaguely aware of the threatening headache. His body felt sleep heavy and unresponsive, eyes firmly shut.

The vague sound of his voice being called was just an irritant, not something worth responding to.

... Cloud...

Again that voice. Something in the back of his mind was trying to tell him to sit up and take notice.

...Wake up...

No, he would not wake up. He was good where he was, thank you very much. With that in mind he tried to roll over only to discover that he couldn’t.

Something was holding on to his right leg.

Or maybe someone, judging the ‘five more minutes’ he heard from the vicinity of his nether regions and the fact that the wet spot he was just getting aware of, on his ankle got bigger. “Off today”

The mumbling voice and the fact that his leg was being hugged like a damn teddy bear by someone with enough strength to bend rebar, told him that the cause of his numbness was Zack. The man had an unfortunate tendency to reel in and hug the stuffing out of anybody and anything in grabbing distance as he slept.

“Well, I would leave you alone,” said a horrifyingly familiar voice in very quiet, measured tones, “but as you Zack and Corporal Strife are occupying my bed right now, that is quite difficult.”

All thought of sleep fled his mind and Cloud’s eyes snapped open to the eternal agony of bright sunlight.

“Graaaah, srrrrr,” was what came out of his mouth as he tried to greet the General. The General who was standing in full uniform in front of his bed… on which apparently Cloud and Zack were sleeping.

And then the merciful haze of utter befuddlement lifted and Cloud had the dubious pleasure to realize that he apparently was one of those people who could get ragingly drunk and remember every single thing…

Oh gods.

His eyes scanned the room, trying to avoid the General’s eyes and settled on the desk. There stood an unassuming flower pot. With a small cacti plant. It would have been all right if it wasn’t the fact that he distinctly remembered taking the plant from lounge area, and then he and Zack decided that poor thing needed to be prettied up before being gifted to the General. And then Cloud remembered that when one gave roses to somebody they took off the thorns and the cacti had needles, which were a lot like thorns… and then he vaguely remembered shaving cream and a straight razor…

He groaned, wishing he could just sink into the floor and die, die, die before he had to admit to the General that it was him that came up with the idea, at three in the morning that it would be best to surprise Sephiroth. At least he wasn’t the one to knock out a Turk and stuff him all trussed up into a ventilation shaft...

He and Zack seemed to remember that same part at the same time. He felt the SOLDIER scramble backwards off the bed and fall on the floor with some heavy thumping and cursing. Cloud would have cursed too, but the mad sensation of pins and needles in his leg now that Zack finally let go distracted him.

“Ah.” The general said with surprising calmness considering the heavy bags under his eyes. “While I appreciate you two wanting to bring me a birthday gift, the ...two and a half hour... song at three in the morning wasn’t the best idea ever.”

The general smiled at them kindly and even Zack stilled, the sense of utter terror filling the room.

“And then, after you both thankfully passed out and I dared to hope to get a little bit of sleep I got another surprise.”

Cloud made a small sound, like a dying baby chocobo.

“Tseng called to tell me just what he found in one of the ventilation shafts, all but gift wrapped.”

Cloud had a flash memory of red eyes and yards and yards of pink, sparkly ribbon. It seemed hilarious at the time but now Cloud found it very, very scary to know that Zack kept such things on hand.

Zack gibbered somewhere to his right.

Still on the floor.

Probably as vertically challenged as Cloud at the moment.

“Therefore, Tseng and I decided that the Turks needed a training session. I took the liberty of altering your schedule for today. You are going to help then in honing their tracking skills.”

Another smile, even more gentle than the one before.

“When…” Zack managed to choke out, stunned stiff by the smile.

Sephiroth sat down in one of comfy looking leather chairs.

“Five minutes ago.”

Oh Gods, Cloud was going to die.

And then he was going to come back and haunt Zack because it was all his fault anyway!

The end  
22-05-2011


End file.
